I have a confession

***Please note this post was actually written on Sunday, I just didn’t want to post it so soon after my brief commentary on millennial guilt and FOMO***

Until today I had never driven my van. I had never driven any van. I know it is a bit (a lot) crazy to buy a van and start converting it without ever having put your foot to the pedals, but I was fucking terrified.

Like stupidly scared.

I once had an interview to be an ice cream lady, sorry ‘person’, a job I didn’t get because the man (who was a bit of a wanker) had no confidence in my driving abilities. I last drove a car three years ago in Martinique for about an hour until my passengers voted to swap drivers. And, I was repeatedly scolded by Margaret – a lady I looked after in Hawaii who taught people how to drive in the war – for my poor efforts in her automatic. You could say that this has left me with a few insecurities about driving…

So yesterday after it was all taxed and insured I steeled myself and went down to have a go. Until the battery was dead. Completely dead. Oh and the sneaky leak in the ceiling had returned.

I tried not to cry. I actually went to work and stayed pretty cheerful, but after that I cried LOADS.

This is the point where you give up right? This thing you bought with all the money you had is sat dead on a driveway. You probably can’t drive it anyway. Even if it starts working the leak has probably caused mould and the whole thing will crumble apart. This thing I want to live in and drive thousands of miles in might not be viable.

But I didn’t give up. I rang the AA and Alex turned up, who was amazing (amazing Alex from the AA couldn’t make this shit up). He reminded me what a good base van it is (pre 2006 sprinters are known as one of the most reliable vans going) and assured me that apart from needing a new battery and clamp I was good to go. We also discovered the leak was because I had drilled the vent I was so proud of wrong.

Vent fixed. Battery in. I WENT AND DROVE IT!

So lessons learnt – if you are scared do it anyway. If you are thinking about quitting don’t. Don’t keep your foot on the clutch round corners. Basically everything it says on those motivational fridge magnets is right. Granted there probably aren’t loads of fridge magnets about clutch use but you get me.



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